To meet a human being who is really a mature human being is a very rare thing. It is not the same thing as meeting an enlightened human being. It is a different story. From the perspective of a mature human being, enlightenment is one of the necessary ingredients needed but it is not enough, not sufficient. It allows possibilities that the person didn’t see before. The more a human being is mature and complete, the more he is neither selfish nor selfless. A spiritual person is selfless, always giving for the other. A worldly human being is always selfish, always taking. For the true human being, within the same action there is giving and taking. Something for oneself and something for the other without any contradiction whatsoever.
Diamond Heart Book IV, p. 88
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So, one side of it is that when you try to actualize the perspective of being a mature, full, responsible human being in the world, the primary early structures of our individual consciousness, the soul child or the libidinal soul responds by saying, "What about me? I want to have fun and play." The soul child considers the responsibility, efficiency, and realness of the mature adult antithetical to having fun, enjoying things, and just hanging out.
The other side of feeling resistant or dissatisfied with the perspective of practical functioning is that you might look at the school or the teacher as lacking something, as not providing an appropriate model. They are not the way you want them to be. You might feel disappointment, "I'm not getting it anymore. I'm not getting what I need anymore. I want something, but the teacher is telling me that I have to grow up."
Diamond Heart Book V, p. 258
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Another way we hold on to the central object relation is to reenact it by identifying with either side of it. On one side of it, you're the little kid, relaxed and happy, with daddy and mommy around, your teacher or God taking care of you, essence pouring into you, and you're feeling content. The loss of that object relation will be like the loss of the breast. On the other side, you could be the giving, nourishing breast, and see other people as needing to be taken care of and nourished and supported. Understanding this perspective means also the loss of that position. To be a real human being, mature and down to business, means that you can't only be that nourishing, giving breast, doing everything for the other person. You could lose the central object relation from either end. In both cases, the loss of the object relation means the loss of the comfort, the connection, the security, the support, the nourishment, the fulfillment, and the love that is the chief affect of the central object relation.
Diamond Heart Book V, p. 266
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