When you experience loss and separation you have the possibility of seeing that what was filling you wasn’t really you. If you stay with the hurt and the pain of loss without trying to cover this pain with something else, it is possible that you will feel the emptiness, feel the hole, see the hole. Then if you allow yourself to feel the deficiency, the emptiness, you may find the essential part of you that will really fill the hole, from the inside, once and for all. It’s not even filling; it is just the elimination of the hole and the identifications with the deficiency. In that way, you regain part of yourself. You connect with the part of your Essence that you lost, and that you thought only somebody else could provide for you.