If we delineate these mental relationships, we can distinguish three kinds that our mind is engaged in all or most of the time. There is the positive one, which is usually an idealized relationship. The other person is an idealized other – all wonderful, powerful, good, perfect, whatever the idealization is. The second kind of mental relationship is where the other person is what we call the frustrating other. The other is the yummy one that you always want but you cannot have. That’s why we call the other the frustrating object – exciting, wonderful, but unavailable. The third kind of mental relationship is the hostile relationship, where you feel unwanted, and rejected, or hated; or vice versa, where you are the one who is not wanting, rejecting, hateful, and hostile. The real relationship usually contains elements of all three kinds of mental relationships. With any human being there is satisfaction, fulfillment, and love, there is some negativity, anger, and hatred, and there is frustration. The real relationship is the relationship where these three are acknowledged.